Yesterday, I had a coffee tete-a-tete with a guy around 4pm in Ballard and so I went to the coffee shop a little early to do some work for the office, to get some coding done, and to finish up a chapter on my novel. It was CROWDED, though - more crowded than I have ever seen that particular coffee shop!! To top it off, it was snowing (yes! snowing!) outside and forcing more people inside. On one hand, it was really, really funny to watch people stand in the middle of the room and look around, slack-jawed, in hopes of finding a table. On the other hand, I was one of those (closed-jawed, thank you very much) people.
So I targeted a seat at a fairly large table that was open across from an older gentleman (I later found out that he was 75 years old) and asked politely, "May I sit here?" He laughed and said, "Absolutely, but my wife is coming back soon, and she's going to sit here." He indicated the other empty seat. I winked and told him that I'd give her some elbow room.
I started typing and glanced up only a moment before becoming enthralled by what the old man was doing. He was drawing, and not just the drawing that you see people do when they doodle in the margins of a magazine, but actual pen-and-ink on sturdy paper drawing. It had a sort of old-style flair to it, kind of like I was looking at some of the old propaganda posters from WWII. His hand was so very steady that I just sat and watched him for a moment, trying not to be rude, but fascinated by not only his talent, but his dedication to getting each line perfectly straight as he shaded in the dark areas with a fine-point black pen.
He caught me. I looked up just as he did and caught his eye, declaring, "I'm sorry!" I hadn't meant to intrude on his privacy. He just smiled and informed me that they were just the drawings of an old man. I mentioned that I hadn't seen anyone ever draw like he was; the man had considerable talent. It was obvious that where he may not have been schooled in the art, he certainly was practiced.
As the conversation wore on, I learned that he used to work with the circus, he'd fought in several wars (one in Cuba), he had traded arms with men in marijuana fields, he had danced the night away at various clubs, he had scammed fairway walkers out of their money at carnival booths, and he had painted signs, done calligraphy, and now....now....he was writing a book about his "evil days" - the time during which he experienced all this.
As a writer myself, I hung on every word; it's amazing what 75 years of a life can bring into the world in the way of memories. As his wife sat down with us, I explained with a grin after she mentioned that they were going to go see a movie soon, "I'm sorry, he was just charming me with some of his old stories."
We struck up a rapport, she and I, even teasing the old gentleman about "embellishing" those stories. I think, perhaps, what I got out of the experience was not the stories themselves, but the way his eyes gleamed when he told them, like he was reliving times in his own mind that were truly happy times for him. With those happy memories, sharp wit, and steady hand came the wisdom of experience: he told me that I mustn't ever pass up an opportunity for greatness, because even the most insignificant step in the right direction was still a step more than I had previously made.
I think, so often, we younger people tend to dismiss older people because they are from a different time; someone very close to me refers to the elderly as 'living fossils', a term that I hate to hear, myself, especially after meeting people like this gentleman and his lovely wife. I took my own grandparents for granted, and now that they're gone, I really wish I'd listened more to what they had to say. Perhaps I would know more today if I had just taken the time to garner some of that old-age wisdom.
If we would all just stop and listen to those with more experience, perhaps we would make it farther than we would be by pretending we know everything. Me included.
As a student a zillion years ago I hitched a ride with an old farmer who turned out to be a very intersting and educated man. It is a good felling and for me doubly 1 reading your post and the other remembering a good time in my lfe. Thanks
Claire - that is amazing - what a great experience! Especially as a writer!
Claire, I recall as a child playing in a sandbox under the watchful eye of my Grandmother. I had tripped on a hole left by the last child and lay face down in the sand, as tears began to form my grandmother picked me up. She brushed me off and said we all have to eat a peck of dirt before we die. I have had my share since then, and her lesson was not for just the child with tears in his eyes it was for all the years to come. I still remember her fondly to this day..she's been gone 25 years.
Learn from those who have done it before you. The fastest way to success! Great post!
Claire, I LOVE this! We really can learn the most valuable life lessons from those who have been through them. As I am aging gaining experience ;), I am enjoying my increased perspective, which has been gained by living through a certain amount of time, trauma, and triumphs. Still, those ahead of me on this road seem to be so much wiser and I wonder if I will ever reach that next point. There is much to look forward to and much to be learned. Listening to those with more road behind them can give us some real, valuable lessons.
Thanks for telling this story!
You just made me very lonely for my grandparents - and also smiling inside remembering the wonderful history lessons that they gave to me each and every time we talked.
One of my funniest and most heartwarming recollections from my Grandfather was when I asked him if he missed Russia (his homeland) and if he ever wanted to go back and live there. He got a funny look on his face, tapped his chin thoughtfully and said: "No darlin, they don't have baseball in Russia. And they wouldn't have you there either." (You can guess where I got my love of baseball from.. :-)
I bet you wanted to ask him for his contact information so you could keep in touch. I would have been hard pressed not to do so.
Claire, thank you for this wonderful post. It brought out so many emotions.
Claire - what a wonderful experience! To top it off....not one that you could have experienced via texting or Tweeting!
Tina in Virginia
I always thought the liberation of the very young and very old is that both groups feel free to speak their minds and tell it like it is.
In the not too distant past, I guess I would have been considered one of those "living fossils." Luckily for me, people are living much longer and there are lots of folks from whom I can garner insight and wisdom.
I loved this post, Claire. When I was growing up and spent the night at my grandparents house, we would lie awake in the dark listening to our grandmother tell stories that had been passed down of our family's early days in Texas in the mid 1800s. Made me appreciate family and history.
Super nice post Claire. I've always very much enjoyed the company of older people and felt out of sorts in any period when I didn't have regular contact with any oldsters. I really like hearing as much as possible about how things used to be since that's where my heart is really. Funny though - the older you get the younger the oldsters get!
Liz
I was picked on as a younger person....always talking to the "old people"...but what they didn't understand was the knowledge I was learning. My grandfather had seen the invention of electricity, the TV, the telephone, the airplane, the refrigerator! ...everything we were just taking for granted. So fascinating! They are a wealth of information and life experiences.
Grandparents can be so underrated ! I loved listening to their stories.
Great post Claire.
"he told me that I mustn't ever pass up an opportunity for greatness, because even the most insignificant step in the right direction was still a step more than I had previously made." That should be the motto in Washington!
Charlie - You're welcome for kickstarting those memories :) Thanks for sharing!
Courtney - I'm definitely blessed with the ability to meet interesting people!
Steve - Have you eaten your peck of dirt today? ;) My grandma used to tell me that anything worth having is worth fighting for.
Tony - Learning from those who came before is what we should do, but so many of us don't! Shameful peeps. Shame!
Elaine - You're not old, you're youth-challenged? ;) Actually, judging by your picture, you can't be much older than I am. Still, I can't help but think that "old person" thought sometimes: If I knew then what I know now...
Kris - I definitely wanted to ask, but I know his nom de plume, so I'll keep an eye out for his book. In two years, three years, whatever, when it comes out, I'll pick it up and send him a letter through his publisher that harkens back to our day at the coffee shop. Maybe it'll put a smile on his face.
Tina - I think we take the instant-gratification of the internet for granted sometimes. People still need to talk to one another, I think!
Marilyn - there is no better way to look at it than "No matter how old you are, there is still something to learn about the world around you."
Shirley - It's amazing how much of our family culture still resides in those old tales from our elders. When we depend so much these days on the written word, it's nice to hear a voice once in a while.
Liz - I don't know about the oldsters getting younger ;) I think the AR members sometimes have an obtuse view of how aged they really may be ;) Young at heart, c'mon now!
Sherry - One of the things that I love doing is when I'm researching a futuristic novel, I go speak to someone really, really old and try to get the "feeling" of what it was like to see such innovation or to endure such hardship. It gives you an interesting perspective.
Sheldon - I hope you're still listening, even if the people may not be your grandparents!
Eleanor - Part of me wonders if you mean the Capitol or if you mean the State ;) AR is in Washington -State-, remember! But yes, a few steps in the right direction are muchly needed.
... lol ! ....yep I certainly am !!! ... there are some very important lessons to be learned from many of our elders
That is a fascinating story Claire, I once had a very similar experience. I went on a 14 day cruise in Northern Europe and was excited until I found out the only people who went on 14 day cruises were OLD people. I thought I would have a horrible time being the youngest on the ship, until I started getting to know these people, the stories they shared, their experiences, One Italian man gave me some great advice, he said, " be open minded about learning, no matter who it's from" another one from my grandfather, " If I knew I would eat so little when I'm retired, I would have never worked so hard when I was younger and enjoyed life more"